So how about people telling you to be safe, you know, “Hey, be careful and drive safe on the road.” Foiled! My reckless intentions have been thwarted! Does anyone get into a risky situation and think, “Wait! I was told to be careful.”

My favorite line is,

“Have a safe flight.”

Yeah, okay… I’ll buckle my seat belt. That’s pretty much all I can do. There’s nothing more really, but preparing for disaster and understanding my seat doubles as a flotation device.

And there’s that cozy feeling of safety when the stewardess, with that sparkling smile, approaches that first time flier sitting next to the emergency exit, and says “Hi, you’re in charge of the emergency exit if this thing goes down in a fireball.”

The best advice someone can give you for a flight is, “Make sure your tray table is up and your seat is in the full up-right position.”

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