A few months ago I attended a timeshare pitch and in return they gifted me a Las Vegas Getaway package. The very excited person I was opened the pamphlet to read the terms and conditions to redeeming this wonderful trip…

Here are the highlights…..and I’m not kidding…

1. Choice of Hotel

• Receive 3 night accommodations at Tropicana, Imperial Palace, or Palace Station.

…Or any other “dive” hotel in Vegas.

2. Included is the Excluded from the Included

• This offer does not include transportation. Anything not included is excluded.

Noted in case you’re an idiot

3. Planning your Vacation

• You must submit 3 travel dates with at least 22 days between these dates, excluding travel dates.
• All reservations must be requested and received in our office 60 days prior to the earliest travel date.
• Any and all cancellations must be submitted in written form ONLY and completed at least 45 days prior to your travel date to be eligible to rebook for a later date.

Oh, that’s it? Give me a second to get a map before I have to re-read this and follow this with a compass and protractor.

4. Customer Service

• Due to the large number of (attempted) travelers we prefer not to accept phone calls. (In fact, we won’t even provide a phone number)If you require additional information please write to the customer service department at the address provided on our Reservation Request Form.

Write? …With a Pencil? Using Stamps?

5. Company’s Guarantee

• We cannot be held responsible for mail delays, lost mail, cancelled itineraries, delays in travel, acts of God, terrorism, or anything else beyond our control.

So, just to set the record straight, you’re NOT responsible for God? Have you been accused of this before to where you actually notate it in your Terms and Conditions?

Needless to say folks…I have not gone on this ‘trip.’

You can view the actual Terms & Conditions here.

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