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This here is a 61oz unbreakable stainless-steel caffeinated battery pack capable of providing piping hot coffee for at least 12 hours.

I consume this 5 days a week.

The only way to drink a freshly brewed cup of Starbucks coffee is to

A. Kill off your sense of taste.

B. BIY (Brew-It-Yourself)

That’s it. Those are your options.

If you’ve had a fresh brewed cup of coffee anywhere but Starbucks, then you know that their daily brew is probably the worst cup you’ve ever had. It’s like they’ve poured enough hot water for one cup through an entire 20oz bag into the coffee pot and then left it on the burner for 3 hours before serving it…

EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.

I’m here to tell you it’s the barista, folks, not the grounds, but apparently this pitiful technique seems to be mandated.

The grounds are actually not that bad if prepared correctly. However, watch the strength levels, because Starbucks seems to think super-extra strong coffee is the best kind.

I wonder, what is the point of telling me the temperature when next to it you tell me what temperature it FEELS like? Isn’t that the point of telling me the temperature? I need to know whether I’m wearing flannel underwear or my mesh 80’s florescent camouflage pants today. Don’t make it complicated.

In fact, just tell me what to wear. That’s all I want to know anyway.

Today: Puffy Shirt, Long Johns, and Heavy Waterproof Jacket equipped with a pirate sword

Tonight: 80% Chance of finger gloves, snow boots, and ski mask.

Last week I saw this really bad performance of a horse juggling a chain saw while stuffing a cigar full of popcorn, and well, needless to say, the horse didn’t make it, but I thought, remember in movies when they would throw fruit and vegetables at the bad acts…was there really a time when this was a common practice?

I mean, I’ve seen performances limp passed the finish line with a few ‘boos’ and ‘you suck’ thrown at them, but food? I didn’t realize inflicting pain with 3-5 daily servings of the food pyramid was actually an option. Moreover, how does an entire audience manage to be in the possession of produce at the theater? Are we stocking the theater or handing out baskets with the program? Maybe it’s like camping, “We’ll provide the pit; you bring the fire.” It just seems ironic that such healthy food is used for such an unhealthy cause.

Some people have this misconception of what an Air Traffic Controller does. Many like to simulate holding red lights or sticks and swinging them  up and down as a way of imitating this stressful job.

Just to be clear…

This is NOT an Air Traffic Controller

This is simply someone in an orange vest on the ramp…an aircraft marshaller.

This IS an Air Traffic Controller

ATC working in a Radar room and a Tower Cab.

Just thought that should be cleared up.